poor kid, suicide note, limpy asian pornos, life is good

Remember a few days ago, there was a JC kid who committed suicide because he thought his little willy couldn't quite make the height requirement? Poor kid, so sad. It didn't have to happen you know. He must had watched to much classic Peter North pornos when should be watching the limpy asian ones. RIP, kid.

Anyway, after reading about his suicide note, I thought to meself: How would my suicide note read like if I was to write one?

Dear mama & papa & the Straits Times & the kind citizen of Singapore (certainly my death would cause such a big hoohaa that everyone gets to read my note),

I am sorry to say: I am gone. Gone from this cruel world whereby people are judged by - luckily for me, I had watch the limpy asian pornos to not feel bad about the size of my Nebuchadnezzar. and it is not the cause of my suicide - the size of the bank account, the stuff you own and the job you have which I have none.

For the future, I can only see tons of bumming, living off you guys and ... waitaminte, screw it... my life is gonna be pretty cool! And who am I kidding, LIFE IS GOOD NO MATTER WHAT. If you feel depress, do something to change your life. Go buy a gadget or learn the ukelele. Feel life is meaningless, find a meaning! If you have to go, listen to my fine black brother 50 cents, man: Get Rich or Die Tryin'.